Just Being Me, John Paul G

Passing the Torch of Gossip or Rumors Responsibly

Not so long ago, I had a lengthy chat with a friend about how people form opinions about others and spread the news as supposedly rumor but make it sound likes its true to the core. And rumors don’t just get passed around without dramatic facial expressions or Quentin Tarantino movie like added exaggerations and theatrics. Rumors often get distorted along the way that when it reaches the 10^th person, the “Rumored” (the person the gossip is about) would be categorically accused numerously on what he or she may or may not have done. It’s like that game we all played before during team building, pass the message. By the time it arrives to the person who’s suppose to tell out what he/she last heard, it sounds totally distorted, and even the main character may have changed to someone else!

A classic example is that you sense some people are distancing themselves from you but you’re unsure what you did or said to deserve it. When you try asking around, you sometimes get just pieces of the rumor. With luck, you would manage to find the person who started it all. And to compare with the person you got initial rumor from, would sometimes sound so different. You’d feel hurt and disappointed with the way people form options about you. And this happens to us all the time. Some would like to deny it and think they’re all perfect and everyone’s flawlessly good friend, but it’s not always the case.

As much as I believe that everyone deserves the right to have an opinion but if it’s influenced by paranoia and spitefulness, nothing good really comes out of it. To be opinionated, along with it comes responsibility and common sense. The consequence of such actions irresponsibly usually causes distrust and strain among family, friends and colleagues. So in other words, before we start a gossip or rumor, its best to state proven facts first, and then continue with “In my opinion, what I think is....” so that people know it’s just your opinion. So at this point, you would be careful with your words as you’re taking responsibility of your action to begin a potentially damaging rumor. And people would then quote you and proceed to form their own opinion the same way you did when sharing with others.

"Yes, Men Gossip too! And they are worse than us"

Now, let’s look at the people we call the Rumored. There may be some basis to start spreading a news flash because you witnessed or read something pertaining to the Rumored. Perhaps the past is coming back to haunt the Rumored because of the reoccurrence of similar events. And people form opinion because they can’t relate or understand them. Trivial stuff to some may be a big thing for others. So what if you have a tattoo? So what if you smoke? So what if you enjoy alcoholic beverages? So what if you like clubbing? So what if you missed Sunday mass? So what if you cheated in your exams? So what if you lie? So what hurt someone’s feelings before? We are different people with different preferences, feelings and thoughts. If we are all are the same, then the world would just be so dull. There would be no creativity, no news, no special talents, no identity thefts…etc. Everyone is special and perfect in their own way.

Many times we make mistakes. It becomes too costly at times that we learn from them and not repeat them. Sometimes we repeat them and half-heartedly promise not to do it again, but somehow being human, we give in to our need to satisfy our appetite for it. But when rumors about you, some of which are not true at all, and some get too distorted that it paints a completely different picture of you, gets thrown at you from every direction, you tend to be extremely hurt and move yourself into isolation from those you’re used to.

Poor Homer, always the Rumored.

So let’s begin to be morally responsible starting a rumor or passing on a rumor that was passed to us. Let’s avoid unnecessary disharmony amongst us. As the saying goes, do unto others as you’d like to be done unto you. This would be the first step in cultivating a future generation that cares, understands, and respect for one another. Our kids are watching us as we do, so be responsible!

posted by John @ 12:45 PM